Self Dicovery.

So, I've been thinking. A lot. Apparently, I haven't been myself for a looooonnnngggg time. So, for the past 2 weeks or more, I've been trying to find myself again. You can refer to my description, how I couldn't find myself, right? Well, I think I found myself, or at least a tiny piece of it.
I've been living well, the life that I suppose, people would adore. A boyfriend, and talented best friend, close friends, the perfect balance between total loser and popular, just, normal. I don't know, I mean, I liked it, but it just didn't feel right, I wasn't having fun, like I did in grade 6. And oh, grade 6, I was a "total complete loser/weirdo who had like, 2 friends". Then in grade 7, I got seperated by these friends, so I made new friends. These new friends made me not so " total complete loser/weirdo who had like, 2 friends" , but I wasn't having a lot of fun. So then grade 8 rolled along, and I went with those friends I had in grade 7. Now, at around December, when I turned 13, well, I didn't feel so comfortable with this life, but I played along. Now, march, which is a new month, I think I absolutely CANNOT stand this.
My friends I met in grade 7, they're all musical oriented. It was cool, I mean, I liked music, I liked singing, I was cool with that. They're so much more talented, and stuff, and I don't know, I just tagged along. I suppose my personality became a lot like theirs too, being all mature ish, compared to when I was in grade 6. I could talk to them about my problems, I listen to theirs, everything was cool.
Now, I had a quite a long conversation with one of my closest friends in grade 6, and I realise that we're still really alike. I mean, a few weeks before that, I started writing randomly again, the afternoon before I went to chinese school, and I was really, really happy. 2 months before that, I wanted to find my talent/passion, and I felt like I found it when I started writing again. The sad thing is that none of my close friends now would understand, since as I said earlier, they live for music. I should also mention that things haven't been the best with them, so that was another factor. How me and that friend in grade 6 are familiar, well, I told her that I didn't know who I was [like I said for the description] , and she mentioned how I used to be crazy, which started my entire thoughts about self discovery.

Well, that's around it.
I'll be a bit more specific about who I'm " acting " as, and who I think I "truely am". Note the quotation marks, because I'm not 100% sure.
I'm a music lover. You see me walking everywhere with earphone plugged in, I'm listening to music all the time, it's what I talk about. Gossip is like, SO interesting, you find out everything about people. Even if I don't have the latest things, I do dress a bit nicely, since I don't wanna look so ugly with no style, but I've got limited resources. If you need someone to listen to you talk, help you or anything, I'm here (: .
I live for writing. I write every. single. day. If I could choose -----
Actually.
You know what?
I think all I need to do is start writing again, listen to music less, be a bit crazier -- WE'RE TEENS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. WE'RE ALLOWED TO DO SOME CRAZY THINGS TO LOOK BACK ON! . Oh wait. One problem. Some friends don't like to be so crazy. And no, I cannot leave them behind. And yes, I need your opinion. Whoever you are. [x
I'll mix my real self with my fake self.
I'll wait until grade 9 though, because there are slight problems.
Wish me luck? <3
thankssss ^^
-Ange (: